Employee: "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Right decisions."

Employee: "And how do you make right decisions?"
Manager: "One word."

Employee: "And, what is that?"
Manager: "Experience."

Employee: "And how do you get Experience?"
Manager: "Two words."

Employee: "And, Sir, what are they?"
Manager: "Wrong decisions."

THREE CORPORATE LESSONS

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure why not?" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story is: Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was laying there a cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to warm up. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The Morals of this story are:

1) Not everyone who drops sh*t on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.

3) And when you're in deep sh*t, keep your mouth shut.

A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"

He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces….and one paid parking."