Due to the global pandemic, Germany is running out of sausages and cheese.

The government considers this to be the Wurst Käse scenario.

THE SCIENCE COMMUNITY HAS FIGURED OUT THAT THE SPREAD OF CORONAVIRUS IS BASED SOLELY ON TWO THINGS:

1. HOW DENSE THE POPULATION IS

2. HOW DENSE THE POPULATION IS

YOU USED TO COUGH TO COVER UP A FART.

NOW, WITH COVID-19, YOU FART TO COVER UP A COUGH.

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands, that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.”

Turns out we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.

Late one evening, Norm’s doorbell rang. When he answered the door, he found a six-foot-tall cockroach standing in front of him.

The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the room and then ran off.

The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.
“Ah, yes,” the doctor said when Norm explained what had happened to him.
“There’s a nasty bug going around.”