A surgeon, an architect, and a politician were considering the question of whose profession was the oldest.
"I think my line of work would win this one hands down," the surgeon said. "After all, Eve was created from Adam's rib, and that sounds like surgery to me."
"Maybe," the architect said, "but before Adam, order was created out of chaos. That was architectural accomplishment."
"Sure," the politician said. "But before that, someone had to create the chaos."
A MAN WENT TO THE POLICE STATION WANTING TO SPEAK WITH THE BURGLAR WHO HAD BROKEN INTO HIS HOUSE THE NIGHT BEFORE.
"YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE IN COURT," SAID THE DESK SERGEANT.
"NO!" SAID THE MAN. "I WANT TO KNOW HOW HE GOT INTO THE HOUSE WITHOUT WAKING MY WIFE. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT FOR YEARS!"
A MAN GOT UP ONE SATURDAY MORNING WITH THE ODD FEELING THAT SOMETHING ABOUT THIS DAY WAS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. SOMETHING UNUSUAL WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.
HE GLANCED OUT THE WINDOW AT THE THERMOMETER - 33 DEGREES.
HE WENT DOWNSTAIRS - THE CLOCK HAD STOPPED AT 3 O'CLOCK.
HE PICKED UP THE NEWSPAPER AND READ THE DATE - THE 3RD OF THE MONTH.
THREES - THAT WAS IT!
HE GRABBED THE PAPER AND FLIPPED IT OPEN TO THE RACING SECTION. SURE ENOUGH IN THE 3RD RACE, THERE WAS A HORSE NAMED TRIO!
THE MAN HURRIED TO THE BANK, DREW OUT HIS LIFE SAVINGS AND BET IT ALL ON THE HORSE TO WIN.
THE HORSE RAN THIRD.
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some cabbages in the back garden. But it’s too big a job to do by myself. Who should I call to help me?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: "Whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid the money."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter to his wife: "NOW you can go ahead and plant the cabbages!"